Ahead of the Darkness Read online

“I’ll go through some basics, okay? Ye can sit in the front seat and fool around with the gears until ye get more comfortable. No driving, I promise.” He threw my duffel into the back seat. “Then you can work out yer frustration at the gym.”

  “Fine.” I couldn’t see a way out, and damn it, Anne was in on it too.

  Drew drove us to an old shipping dock on the outskirts of town. He got out to jimmy the lock, opened the gate and let us in. Drew had his own hidden talents, so it would seem. I looked at him curiously as he drove us through. This time, I got out to cover our tracks, making it look like it was still locked, but allowing us quicker access to leave later. I shrugged at Drew’s raised an eyebrow as I got back in the car. I didn’t want Drew getting caught because he was being an arse trying to teach me how to drive.

  We got out of the car and switched sides. My palms were already sweating, and I hadn’t even touched anything. He pointed out ... things and thankfully Anne’s car was all automatic, but I hadn’t really been paying attention, something about buttons. I turned the blinkers on and off, adjusted the mirrors, moved the stick from drive to park, and changed indicators. It was all a bit naff, and I was ridiculously bored.

  “Okay, now you can drive forward.”

  “WHAT?” That got my attention.

  “Well, yer sitting there bored, so I figured ye not freaking.”

  “I’m freaking now. You promised no driving.”

  “Well, moving the car forward does nae really count.”

  “Semantics.”

  “Just put it in drive, put yer foot on the gas a wee bit, and move her forward a mile.”

  “Nope!” I got out of the car and slammed the door, shutting out Drew’s laughter.

  “Yer no fun. Tomorrow. Come on, let’s get to the gym before Jules bitches about me showing up late.”

  I ignored the tomorrow remark, and the thought I was making Drew late. I didn’t want to feel guilty.

  ~~~~~~

  I emerged from the change rooms with a smile on my face. I couldn’t wait to burn on the treadmill again.

  “It’s been a while, aye?” I lost the smile when I saw Drew leaning against the door waiting for me. I shrugged.

  “It’s only been a week. I was preoccupied.” Which was true. I preoccupied myself with the library on purpose, but he didn’t need to know that.

  “Well, ye know what this means.” I looked at him, perplexed. “It’s my turn. Ye promised we’d do it my way the next time.”

  “I don’t remember promising any such thing.”

  “Aye, ye did, but it was more than a week ago now, so I can understand ye forgetting.” I frowned. “Come on then, let’s get ye warmed up.” He took my hand and led us over to the mats.

  He seemed to find any excuse he could to touch me, correcting my stretches with the excuse I was missing key muscles.

  “No, stand up. Like this.”

  I grumbled and stood up as he came around behind me, putting his hands around my middle and twisting me to the left. “This way,” he whispered in my ear. ”Ye stretch all these muscles at the same time.” He ran his fingers up along my ribcage and over to my other shoulder blade, demonstrating his point. “Ye feel it?”

  “Ah, yeah.” I tried to concentrate on keeping my breathing steady and not give away exactly what I was feeling. My temperature was already climbing, and I was feeling a little lightheaded.

  “Aye, good.” He moved me in the other direction, like I was his own personal ragdoll. I would have protested if I was sure my mouth would function properly. Instead, I just reminded myself to breathe in, one, two, three, and out, two, three. That was hard enough.

  “Aye, good. Now yer legs.” But before he could contort me I’d bent over at the waist, putting my palms flat on the floor, brushing my arse against Drew. Ah, Baiser!

  I instantly righted myself and swayed a little on my feet as the blood rushed to my head. Drew put his hands on my hips to steady me. He was still so close behind, I could feel his breath on the back of my neck and I struggled with suppressing a shiver. He cleared his throat and moved out from behind me, taking his touchy-feely hands with him.

  “Aye, that works.” He sounded gruff.

  We continued to stretch our legs in an awkward silence, and I couldn’t understand why we were both being so weird. I was definitely not myself. I didn’t remember ever being so flustered when Drew had touched me before. Okay, so it had been a week since we’d spent any real time together, other than at the beach yesterday. His hands had been all over me for the most part but then, there was more of a reason, I guess ...

  “Now what?”

  “We train. I do weights and then run. Ye can work on the punching bag, aye?”

  “Why?”

  “This way, when ye get tired or sore, ye run and get the adrenaline bumping, instead of the other way around. Ye run till ye collapse, and dinnae get to strengthen ye muscles.”

  “Fine, we do it your way.” He knew he was right, damn it.

  We spent the next twenty-five minutes working out, Drew lifting weights while I kicked and punched the bag, possibly pretending Drew’s face was on it. But I was slightly distracted as I watched the way Drew’s muscles moved with the effort, not really paying attention to what I was doing. Drew pulled me up for “doing it all wrong”.

  “Put yer legs like this.” His hands were back on my hips, rotating me where he wanted and I wondered why I was having a hard time concentrating. All I could feel and focus on was the warmth radiating from Drew’s body and the way he moved mine. “When ye punch, take the strength from yer shoulders and twist at the waist. Like this.” He curled my fingers around my thumb. “Aye. Now punch the bag.” I rolled my eyes, but did as I was told.

  I punched the bag with my right fist, but before impact, Drew’s hands went to my shoulder and hip, pushing my right shoulder to follow through with my arm, and my left hip pulled back so my spine swivelled. The impact hit my knuckles and reverberated all the way up my arm and dissipated at my shoulder.

  “Did ye feel the difference? Ye use yer weight as impact, instead of putting strain on yer wrist.”

  “Okay, smarty pants.”

  “Show me yer leg work?”

  “Why? What’s wrong with my legs?” He eyes scanned my legs and his lips curled up at the sides.

  “Naught.”

  “Damn straight!” I nodded once sharply, making him laugh.

  “Just kick the bleeding bag, Mia.” I narrowed my eyes at him.

  “Fine.”

  I parted my legs a little more and swung my right leg as high as I could, hitting the bag with the top of my shoe. The height was impressive, but the impact wasn’t. The bag hardly moved when my foot came in contact with it, and I fought to hide the sharp slap of pain to my foot. I turned around to look at Drew expectantly, waiting on bated breath to hear what I’d done wrong.

  “Well?”

  “How’s ye foot?” Damn it.

  “Just fine.”

  “Aye, I’m sure.”

  “Fine. Help me, Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.” I giggled at my stupidity, and Drew looked at me like I’d just lost the plot.

  “Aren’t ye a little short for a Stormtrooper?”

  My eyes widened. “You know Star Wars?”

  “Aye. I dinnae pick ye as a nerd.”

  “I find your lack of faith disturbing. Okay, okay, what did I do wrong, oh wise one?” He laughed and moved behind me again.

  “Left leg forward. Good. Right leg back. Now, when ye swing, it’s from the waist, not from yer knee. Ye’re likely to pop it that way, and hit the bag with yer shin not yer foot. Yer body will best absorb the impact.”

  “Okay. It’s way too early to process all of that. Show me?” I mostly understood what he was on about, but I just wanted the smart arse in action.

  I moved out of the way and to the side while Drew stepped in front of the bag, pouncing on the balls of his feet. I muffled my laugh. He looked a little ridiculous, but my amu
sement was completely cut off when Drew hit the bag. It flew about a metre.

  “Bloody hell.” I was in wide-eyed wonder.

  “Yer turn.” Ah bugger.

  I took a deep breath and replaced Drew in front of the bag. I corrected my stance as per his instructions, and twisted on the spot but Drew was right behind, correct me yet again. I wasn’t sure if he was helping or distracting. His hands travelled slowly along my sides moving my body a fraction to the left and my concentration went right out the window when he leaned in, his breath tickling the nape of my neck.

  “Better.” His voice was deep and low.

  I flicked his hands off. “Okay. I got it.” My voice a little too breathy. He laughed and stepped back.

  I took a deep breath and swung, this time hitting it with my shin and moved the bag a good few feet. It smarted a little, but not nearly as much as it would have if I’d hit it with my foot.

  “The Force is strong with this one.”

  I laughed, despite myself. “Yeah, yeah.”

  “To kick higher, ye need to bend to the side. Again.” I rolled my eyes and repositioned myself. My heart stuttered as Drew step in behind me.

  “Wha—”

  “Go slow.”

  “I’ve got a very bad feeling about this.” We both laughed at the corny line.

  “Just trust me, aye.” My heart skyrocket as Drew stepped in closer, his breath blowing on my neck, but I nodded anyway.

  I took a deep breath, trying not to breathe him in and slowly twisted, raising my leg at the same time. Drew’s hands went to my hips, one hand pushing down, the other pushing up and I stopped breathing as the latter was ridiculously close to my bum. My shin barely made contact with the bag, I’d been standing too far away only just tapping it, but I couldn’t move, Drew’s hands were still holding me in place, like I was some marionette puppet. I turned my head awkwardly to the side to look at Drew over my shoulder. His eyes were glued to his hand on my arse.

  “Ah, Drew? Can, can you let me go?”

  His eyes snapped to mine, and the heat in them was overwhelming. I froze in place as Drew slowly righted me, bringing my face inches from his.

  “Ye’re —” He cleared his throat. “—Ye got it.”

  “I ah, used to do ballet ... my leg. I mean, that’s ...” I was completely tongue-tied.

  “Oh, aye?”

  “When I was fourteen, my, ah, Lisa. She said I’d thank her one day.” That cleared my head: the image of Lisa’s smiling face as I’d rolled my eyes at her. I turned away from Drew’s questioning expression and reached for my water bottle, still lost in the memory.

  “I’m over the bag. I’m going to run.” I walked off, needing to clear my head and distance myself from Drew.

  I put my headphones in and let the music wash over me, replacing all the thoughts. I was relieved when Drew left me alone to finish his weights but I could feel him watching me, so I kept to a comfortable jog to avoid sweat running down my face. He joined me after about twenty minutes and started pushing the up button on my machine. We childishly continued pushed the buttons on each other’s treadmills, making the other go faster or stop completely. It restored my equilibrium, and I couldn’t help give Drew a small thank you smile when we got off.

  “The morrow?”

  “Maybe.” I left it at that, walking off into the change room.

  ~~~~~~

  Sure enough, Drew was there, waiting outside the house for me again the next day with a lazy smile on his face. I grumbled, but got in the car.

  “Now, put ye foot down gently.” I was shaking in my boots but I slowly put my foot on the accelerator. We didn’t move. “Wee bit harder than that, love.” I narrowed my eyes at him and put my foot down harder—too hard. We sped off and I panicked, stomping my foot on the brake.

  Drew hollered with laughter as I stared out the front window in shock, still shaking.

  “Again.”

  It wasn’t every day that Drew would try and torture me in the car. Sometimes we’d mix it up and we’d just happened to meet at Maria’s at the same time for breakfast. Those seemed to be the days Anne needed the car. We sort of fell into an unspoken routine over the next few weeks. Drew still trying to get me to drive more than a few feet and finding new stretches to show me but he always kept the innocent-enough touching to a minimum at work.

  Chapter Eleven

  "Afternoon gorgeous." What? I'd just walked into the staffroom, expecting to see Jules but instead I found Drew sitting in the office with the door open.

  "Afternoon, Drew." He seems uncharacteristically chipper.

  "Jules called in sick, and no one else can work, so it's just ye and me tonight." Ah, damn ... wait.

  "Why are you okay with this? Shouldn't you be more ... pissed?"

  "Aye, but it'll be fun with just the two of us." He winked at me.

  "I ... guess. Did you already put the tills in?"

  "Nae, I'll bring them out in a minute."

  What was with Drew? He shouldn’t be pleased with everyone callin in sick, something was, off. I was staring aimlessly into my locker, trying to put my finger on it when my skin started to prickle, and I turned to see Drew standing in the doorway, his arms above his head, holding onto the frame.

  "I cannae stop thinking about ye as it is, and seeing ye, like this." What? In a dress? Oh, that is weird. He looked me up and down to make his point. I swallowed hard and my heart kick-started into over drive. "Ye look good enough to eat."

  He stalked towards me, like an animal on the prowl and I felt like his prey. That thought alone should have terrified me but I was humming with electricity. In three strides he was towering over me.

  "Mia ..." My name rolled off his tongue like a carress.

  "Y ... yes?" I said breathlessly.

  "I just need a taste ... just one. No one will ever have to know." Oh God! I nodded. He smiled the biggest Cheshire grin, and I trembled with anticipation as he cupped my cheek, lifting my face up to his. He slowly leaned down and crushed his lips to mine ...

  Oh God! I’d jolted awake, my heart beating erratically, and my body humming with need. This was not good, this was not good, I kept repeating, over and over as the image of the two of us lingered. My eyelids closed as I got sucked back in.

  I snapped them open and jumped out of bed, throwing myself into the shower. I tried frantically to replace the feeling of Drew’s hands on my skin with the steaming-hot water spray. It wasn’t helping. My skin felt too sensitive, and I was getting more and more flustered by the minute. Damn it! I needed ... Drew, no! I only wanted Drew because I couldn’t have him. He was off-limits, and that made him all the more ... I just needed someone else to take the edge off, but that would be impossible.

  The only place to drink and pick up men was at Cascade’s. That would be like shitting where you slept and Drew, Drew would be there. He was always there. When he was in a room, he was all I saw, so that wouldn’t even work.

  Jules? I couldn’t even begin to try and rationalise that to myself. We’d just found a friendly balance, too. I’m sure he would—hell, he slept with anything, except Mac. I hadn’t worked out why that was. Probably because she was a bitch.

  Would Drew even care? I didn’t want to think about that. Did the no-fraternising policy really apply to all staff, or was that just his rule?

  What was I doing? I couldn’t be seriously entertaining the idea? I was a little more desperate than I’d thought. I came to my senses and fled to the kitchen. Food!

  I pulled out everything I owned on my shelf and started making ... things. Marmite and cheese on toast, celery with peanut butter, strawberries, blueberries and Greek yogurt. Individually they were a few of my favourite things, but eating them at the same time, not so much. I felt like I might puke. Damn it.

  “The gym!” I'd run till I was numb. Fuckety-fuck, fuck. Drew ...

  I checked the time on the microwave: 6:44am. It seemed to be one of our an unwritten rules that on Thursdays I ‘ran’ into Dr
ew at Maria's around eight am but luckily, the gym opened at seven. I might just be able to sneak in and out before he showed up. I hastily packed my duffel and left out the back door. The brisk walk had me there in less than twelve minutes, just as they opened the doors.

  "You're early, and, alone?" Great, it's Jenny working.

  "Yep."

  "No Drew today?" Jesus!

  "Nope."

  "Oh, okay." She seemed all too pleased as she handed me the sign-up sheet. "Well it's just us for a bit, then. I'll turn the music up, yeah?" I frowned wondering why she sounded so sweet, she normally saved that voice for Drew. Oh God, does she thinks we broke up?

  "I have headphones, but knock yourself out." I passed her back the sheet and headed off for the change room.

  I couldn't handle her on a good day. Today, was not one of those days. I didn't want to think about Drew McKinley and how I didn’t have him. I stripped out of my sweats, threw them in a locker, shoved my MP3 player in my arm band and slammed the locker closed. It rang out loudly through the empty change room and I cringed at the sharp sound.

  I wasn't sure why I was so mad but I was fuming. I didn't even bother to warm up. My blood was already pumping.

  I changed the playlist to something edgy with faster beats and turned the treadmill up high. I wanted to run until I couldn't feel, turning the. It fuelled my aggravation that it was taking too long. All the weeks of unofficial training with Drew had built up my tolerance again. I could run faster, harder and for a lot longer than I ever could before, and it was all Drew's fault. I turned the volume up even louder, and ran even faster in a vain attempt to drown out my thoughts. Get out of my head!

  My headphones were all of a sudden ripped out, and a big hand pushed the stop button. I had to grab onto the handles to stop my momentum, and quickly put my feet on the side.

  "What the fu—" Damn it, Drew! "What was that for?" I huffed and puffed out, not realising just how out of breath I was.

  "What do ye think ye’re doin?"

  "Running?"

  "Ye about done? I've been watching ye for the last twenty minutes. I cannae stand it any longer."

  "What?" Twenty? I looked at my phone and realised I had been on the treadmill for more than forty-five minutes ... oops.